Sunday, February 20, 2011

The Night Is Darkest Just Before The Red Light of Dawn

I'm trying to capture this moment. Ava is curled into my chest again. Her hair is draped down my skin like a stream of blood from a gunshot wound to the heart. But I don't feel any pain right now. This is how I wish things could always be.

I'm not sure how to hold her, to be honest. She's so thin and fragile that I'm afraid I'll snap her like a twig, even though I don't have the strength to do that anymore. But worse than being afraid that I'm too strong to hold her is being afraid that I'm not strong enough to hold her together. I'm afraid that she's going to break under the pressure and that I'm not strong enough to help her keep everything together. She acts fine when she's talking to you guys, but she's crushing herself under the weight of the world's problems and neglecting her own.

Tomorrow's fight will be my first fight as a human in over forty years. I still haven't gotten used to my body but I can hardly just sit here and let Ava and Tony go in on their own. I can't just sit back and do nothing. I have to help. I can't fail Ava like I've failed so many others. I have to be here for her. She's been bearing the weight of the world on her shoulders for too long. It's my turn to be Atlas.

I've just carved an inscription into the tree we're sleeping under.

"Avalesca et Reach
+ Spes  Pro  Reliquo +

My Latin may be a tad rusty but I think I conjugated and declined everything properly. I'd better sleep. A long day tomorrow. An early start.


  1. You're going to go save Robert, aren't you? I wish you luck on your endeavers. If nothing else, give redlight a knock on the head for me, okay?

  2. Good luck Reach. Wish I could help, but I'm stuck here at the moment. Kick some ass for us, okay?

  3. Good luck you guys. Aiden and co. wish you luck as well.

    Go save Robbie.

  4. A redeemed man soldiers forth to save a friend. I wish you the best of luck.

  5. You mean a Traitor and his Tramp fly too close to the sun. These people couldn't save him before. Now will be no different. You read about the dream Robert had? Yes, the one about the old man who had been driven insane several times? That's his future. Just give up this pathetic delusion that he can be saved.

  6. Oh buck up, Grasshopper.

    Big day today and I'll be damned if we all sit around moping and angsting until we go in.

    Love you too.

    Oh, and apparently Delta-Fucker is going to be hunting Tensor.

  7. Are you sad that we have your woman? do you want to cry, rage, and scream? You wont be getting her back the same way.

  8. You don't have her, Product. It's funny to me, actually, how much my eyes have been opened, while your gaze remains clouded. Redlight has her and that is not the same thing as the Slender Man having her. You are not a player, Product, you are just a pawn like the rest of us and not Slender Man's pawn either, no, you are Redlight's pawn, just like everyone else in this game.

  9. (I can't find Reliquo anywhere...)
    But I think there are bigger problems now...