Monday, March 28, 2011

An Evening Visitor/Alekhine's Gun, Part 6

So, hmmm, yeah, I'm kinda totally fucking pissed off at the moment. We had a visitor a few minutes ago. Eulogy decided to show up with a crony.

I'll be honest, I'd been sort of dreading this meeting, even if I'd been hoping for it too. I...I'll just post the conversation.

Thage and I are sitting down in the sitting room, drinking tea, when we hear a knock at the door.

Eulogy: Thaaage! Open up, oh friend of mine!

Thage: -she gets up to open the door-

Me: - I push her down and go out to the hall, grab the revolver I had stashed in the hall locker and stuff it into my pocket, then open the door to find Eulogy standing there with another "Revenant" called Hammer backing him-

Eulogy: -he looks taken aback for a moment but them smiles widely at me- Ah, Reach. Delightful to see you, old buddy. How's the memory?

Me: It's fine, Father Knight, how about yours?

Eulogy: -he chuckles- Oh, Reach, it amuses me to no end that you think your memory gain was some grand revelation. Please, call me Eulogy.

Me: Sure thing, Father Knight. Was there anything in particular you came here about?

Eulogy: -his right eye twitches- I came here to speak to Thage. Would you kindly let me pass?

Me: Fuck off, Frank Fontaine. She's busy. Do you want to leave a message?

Eulogy: -his right eye twitches again- Tell Thage that if she doesn't come to the door right now, my associate will be forced to get violent.

Me: -I laugh at his threat- I'm not threatened by Hammer. My memories may have been faked but I figure my memories of training are still based on factual information. I'm pretty sure I can outfight him.

Eulogy: -he glares at me- Be that as it may, Reach, the more important question is whether or not you can outgun him.

Hammer -he pulls out a revolver-

Me: -I do the same-

Eulogy: Oh my, it seems we have a stand-off.

Me: Back off Hammer. Today's not a fighting day. Let's all walk away with our bodies and minds relatively intact. We can fight another day. Not here. It's too public and, frankly, it's kinda dickish to have a shoot-out in someone's doorway.

Eulogy: -his right eye twitches twice- Now, now, Reach, no need to use vulgarity.

Me: -I make a potentially stupid decision and smile- Fuck that, Father Fucking Fuckface, there is every fucking need to fucking use fucking vulgarity. Why the shit shouldn't I fucking use fucking vulgarity? You shitcockcuntfucking arsebandit donkeybuggerer.

Eulogy: -his right eye twitches repeatedly and his face goes read- DON'T FUCKING CURSE AT ME, BOY!

Me: -I stifle exactly one chuckle before exploding with laughter, as does Hammer, who is bent over laughing when I pistol whip his wrist, grab his revolver as he drops it and put it in my pocket then aim my own revolver at Eulogy- Leave quietly and I won't shoot.

Eulogy: -Eulogy's eye twitches again but then his face splits into a huge grin- Why so reluctant to shoot, Reach? After all, we're at you're mercy. You could get rid of us so easily.

Me: I don't want to shoot you because it's not your faults that you're having your mind messed with by Slender Man. I want to help you.

Eulogy: You want to help me? Hardly. You're just afraid to shoot me because you're afraid of what will happen. You're afraid that your great revelation is just another lie and that if you shoot me and my healing factor kicks in, you'll have to start all over again.

Me: -I put the gun right up to his head- You think I won't? You think that if you don't move your fat ass right this fucking minute that I won't put a hole in your head?

Eulogy: -he smiles smugly at me- Those are my general thoughts, yes.

Me: Don't push me, Eulogy. Leave.

Eulogy: -he bows mockingly- As you wish, young master. The feeling of having got inside your head is plenty for me. Before I go though, let me just make something clear to you. This is going to end with one of us riddled with bullets and it isn't going to be me. -he turns and leaves with Hammer in tow-

Me: -I watch as they walk away and close the door once they're gone off the street, then return to the sitting room-

Thage: -she gives me a pointed look - What was he doing here?

Me: He wanted to talk to you about something. I told him you were busy. He had a gunman called Hammer with him, so I was guessing the only question he wanted to ask was something along the lines of "Are you prepared to meet your maker?"

Thage: Sounds like he wasn't very amused by what I did to Mr. Marsh.

Me: Probably not, no.

Thage: By the way, you have no idea how hard it is to give someone a lobotomy with an epeé.

Me: I don't really want to think about that to be honest.

Thage: -she shrugs- It's the most humane way to disable someone on the Black King's side of the board.

Me: No, the most humane way is to get them psychiatric help. Lobotomising them is the easiest way.

Thage: What do you think will happen to them in the asylum? Either a prefrontal, frontal, or transorbital lobotomy.

Me: Bullshit. You've been reading too many books of Victorian history, Thage. You know that Bedlam is at the forefront of humane psychological treatment these days, don't you?

Thage: -she looks up from her journal- The point is, these people are often too far gone. You? You're the exception that proves the rule. Even Cheska's starting to slip, you can see it as clearly as I can. At least this way, with some psychiatric help in re-learning the basics, Mr. Marsh has a chance at a genuine life again.

Me: Yeah, Cheska's starting to slip in the middle of nowhere, with no psychological treatment. Do you want to lobotomise Ava?

Thage: Want to, no. If she falls as far down the rabbit hole as Mr. Marsh did, there aren't many other options outside of killing her.

Me: Oh, of course, we wouldn't want her to be a burden to the health service or anything, we wouldn't want them to have to go through the effort of taking care of a mentally ill person. Much better to cut out a chunk of their brain or kill them!

Thage: It's more a matter that there's nothing the health service could do for them. Would you prefer she's paraded out in front of sixth-graders strapped to a gurney for the rest of her life? A way to scare them straight off of hallucinogens? It's like what you once told me in regards to the government not being able to handle the Black King, Ray.

Me: You're either living in a different century or your own little fucking world, either way, you are not living in reality if you think those are the only options that a mentally ill person has. You know, I thought the lobotomy was an extreme move but I didn't want to get into conflict with someone I consider my friend but if this is the bullshit you're going to be spouting around my mentally ill girlfriend, well, I'd be better off in a fucking Scientologist compound!

Thage: It's like I said. The government can't handle the Black King, and along that same vein, short of corrective brain surgery, lobotomies included, there's nothing medical and psychological science can do for the people he's corrupted.

Me: Of course there is! It's not like he's casting magic spells of "Greater Paranoia" on them, he's driving them up the wall and anyone who has been driven up a wall can be driven back down it. Or maybe I should just go shoot Ava right now, then catch a plane across the Atlantic and put a bullet between my mother's eyes? Does that sound like a good way to help the cause to you?

Thage: Spraying someone's brains out over a wall isn't quite the same as giving them a second chance without that corruption lingering in the back of their mind.

Me: A second chance with diminished mental capacity and no guarantee that he won't just make them loopy all over again. You act like I'm uninformed about the mental damage that Slender Man causes, when you know full well that whichever set of my memories is true, I'm more than fully aware.

Thage: Done right, the damage to someone's mental capacity isn't as severe as detractors paint it out to be. They might seem a tad serene, yes, but only a poorly-executed procedure results in the drooling idiots you see brought up.

Me: I'm not a moron, Thage, but the fact of the matter is that the only reason lobotomies are used is because they are faster, cheaper, easier and less time-consuming than giving long-term psychiatric care. If a lobotomy is medically necessary, by all means, cut a chunk of someone's brain out, but in most cases, and certainly in the case of you cutting a piece of someone's brain out with sports equipment, it wasn't a matter of necessity, it was a matter of convenience. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to take my revolver and the one I just took from the assassin sent to kill you up to my room with me, just in case you decide to try to give her a corpus callosotomy with a bullet. -I turn to storm off in a rage-

Thage: -she runs after me and grabs my arm- Listen. Feel free to disagree, and if you feel so strongly, I won't do it to Ava. But for people who have been under his control as long as Mr. Marsh, it's not a matter of convenience, it's a matter of "better safe than sorry". Another note, -she smiles wryly- the epeé is a weapon if it's not approved for competition.

Me: Damn right you won't do it to Ava. And last time I checked "better safe than sorry" is a matter of convenience. Now, let me go fume for a while until I start to look back at this all from a less emotional perspective and then demonise my own role until I feel like a dickhead, even though I'm the one promoting basic human rights while you want to cut people's brains up "just in case". Good fucking night, Thage.

Thage: Feel free to demonize me. I never walked on the board to be a hero in shining armor. -she turns around and walks back to the sitting room-

Me: Whatever. -I continue storming off, already feeling like a dickhead-

Yeah, I probably shouldn't have shouted or cursed at her but at this stage, I don't give a fuck. She's in the wrong and she can wallow there for all I care.

Reach fucking out.


  1. I have issues with anyone who would throw a good person to the wolves for a momentary advantage on the board, and advocate lobotomy.

    Still. She's trying to help. It counts for something. Even if it is in an insane, vaguely psychotic way.

  2. Now for the Joke portion of this comment

    ALEKINE'S GUN WAS BETTER AT PART 4(not that I actually read part 4.)


    Serious part

    Reach what's a Eulogy?

  3. And um. . .wow. . .Thage is certainly creepy. Then again I'm on the Black side of the board so I don't really care what you guys do.

  4. You should have seen this coming, kid. You're acting like you expect everyone to be family enough not to sacrifice another to get away. Humans are, by nature, fucking despicable things. But good for you for standing up for your girl.

  5. There's only one way to win any game, Reach. She knows it, I knew it, before Big Blue got to me. You gotta be worse than the monster you're fighting.

    Otherwise, you get to listen to him in the back of your head when you inevitably lose.

  6. Waitwaitwaitwaitwaitwaitwait...

    I'm sorry... WHAT?

    Did I miss something here?

  7. Reach, Fizz is back and I have no idea what the fuck is going on.

    Also, don't feel like a dick-head. Necessity is the mother of all sin, and we're not supposed to be sinners, right?

  8. Is someone really not going to tell me what a Eulogy is?

  9. @Hellfire; Eulogy is one of the humans who leads the Gentleman's followers. He thinks that he is killing people on the Gentleman's command, and that he has special powers.

  10. Gentleman's followers. . .you talking about Dad or Slendy?